@beradadisana

July 14, 2013 at 11:11 pm | Posted in katarsis | Leave a comment
Tags: ,

gambar iseng

dear mbae,

if you were a man, you must be boring as hell. but thank god you’re not. you’re a woman, and i find you somewhat interesting. i am intrigued, to be more precise. i really wanna know how it feels to be there, to be exactly where you are, to be @beradadisini, as you call it, in a poetic way. it must be nice there, eh, in your beautiful world, with all those inspiring and uplifting ‘oh that is so true’ quotes, and all those beautiful and typically instagramatic pictures behind them. they all seem flawless: the words, the pictures. you know that, of course. you must have grown accustomed to such a compliment, as i can see from all the likes and comments your blog gets. really, mbae, i have read some blogs. some of them are nice, some others are, well, so-so. but your blog—your blog is super nice. to be perfectly honest, your blog is perfect. and to be more perfectly honest, it’s so damn perfect i hated it instantly when i read the first post. don’t get me wrong. i don’t envy you. and i have nothing against happy people. or, well, maybe i do. i don’t know. maybe, just maybe, i just don’t fucking get it: how can people be as happy as you are, and have a life as perfect as yours? you tell us that you don’t stay happy all the time, that you can act like a bitch and that sometimes you cry too, like everyone else. but still, all i see is your happy face at the top of your blog. for a moment, i thought you’re just a phony. i mean, how do we know that you are not mentally scarred, and that you don’t hate your shitty life, like we all do? what if it turns out that what appears on your blog is just a mask, which we all wear. but then i thought i could easily be wrong. i mean, it’s possible that you are in fact exactly what i think you were when i first stumbled on your blog: a perfect human being in a perfect world. so what’s the problem? this is stupid, i know. but, as the angriest and whiniest person in the world, i take offense at your claim that you can be sad and miserable; that you suffer like us. because if all that is true, i won’t find your blog ridiculously perky. it bothers me to realize that we actually live on the same planet, and that you are not made of light and do not have wings. for in your world, everything seems right, while in my world, everything seems wrong. have you ever thought that being sad and miserable is the only thing we the sad and miserable people can brag about? it’s the only thing that enables us to look down on those who stay happy all the time. but then you say you’re just like us, but you are happy and your life is perfect. and that somehow pisses me off. so i wrote this post to you.

ps: of course i don’t know you and have no right to judge you. yeah i’m a jerk, a bitter jerk perhaps. but then you don’t know me either.

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