TIL two things in life

November 25, 2012 at 1:47 am | Posted in iseng, katarsis, ngoceh | 3 Comments
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1). hey, the secret recipe of ‘secret recipe’ is extreme laziness!

i value great food. sometimes, when things are bad, my happiness depends on whether or not i have a good lunch or dinner. good food always cheers me up, to the point of making me want to be grateful for being alive, which is i have to say a very rare feeling. seriously. the thing is, not all food is good. some are just so bad you hate the world for it. yesterday i paid like Rp 70,000 for the worst steak i ever had. i was at this restaurant called ‘secret recipe’. i ordered something like ‘stewed australian beef steak’. i don’t know exactly what that is; but it tastes horrible. so i asked the waiter, ‘how do you cook this?’ he said he didn’t know and would ask someone at the kitchen about it. he then returned to my table and gave me this innocent look, saying: “kita pake mikro aja, udah dari sananya begitu, pak.” i was like, ‘what?’ so what’s the secret recipe again? maybe my expectation was too high. the last time i ate at an expensive-looking restaurant was at cheesecake factory and they are serving quality food that makes you feel like a filthy, pro-colonialism bourgeois. but yesterday’s dining was a farce; how they survive as a restaurant is beyond me.

2). hey, it’s true, the grass is always greener on the other side!

so my neighbor’s grass is literally and figuratively greener than mine. i don’t like that. and this is killing me, for i don’t like the fact that i don’t like the fact that my neighbor’s grass is greener, literally or figuratively. i thought this was only a saying. or something that you can only learn in PMP books or shitty sinetrons on TV. i never thought of this when i bought a house and decided to settle down. oh, fuck you, life. fuck you.


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  1. They survive because that place was presumably fancy. And they may have WiFi.

  2. Ya they have Wifi. And they look fancy.

  3. So there.

    I went to a Secret Recipe once. They had this fancy-sounding tea deals—the names were arcane and Old Worldly—for about 8 ringgit. (Teh-o-ice at a Mamak stall is by comparison about 1.20.) It came with the tiniest of pots the size of a mug, and with a teabag. Was just a pack of Twinings and hot water. So I stayed there for over an hour to compensate the robbery.

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