Just Another Sad Bastard Blogpost

November 20, 2010 at 3:57 am | Posted in katarsis | 17 Comments
Tags: , ,

No, I don't look like John Cusack. But this man does look like someone who is feeling old and miserable.

This is what happens when you’re 28 and miserable (when you realize that you’re not in the league of Kurt Cobain, Chairil Anwar, Jim Morrison [of course not!] and others who died a legend when they were 27). You begin to feel that you’ve done nothing in the past eight years; that whatever you do now is either too late, useless or completely irrelevant. F**k. The only thing I know for sure about life — apart from the fact that it sucks and is bloody f**king short — is that I could never know for sure what it’s all about. Maybe that’s why I keep writing about it (I’m doing it right now). Those who quit writing either have already got the answers — right or wrong, it doesn’t matter  — for all the big questions in life or are blessed with a decent job and a lovely wife to sleep and f**k with on a lazy Sunday. But I could be wrong, though. Many a happy person can write, even though, well, he usually writes about how superficially happy he is or how he’s annoyingly being positive about everything. And that’s just horrible, horrible, horrible. You know, it’s not that I hate happy people and have no desire at all to be happy. It’s just that, you know, life sucks. And that’s just the way it does. It sucks. That’s why it’s real, deep and real. And deep. And that’s why I keep questioning. And keep writing. But I‘m probably wrong. Life’s not bad, actually. It has pop music, women and cigarettes. And I like money, for sure. I want money. Well, the fact is, I always need more money. And that’s actually the very reason why life sucks big time. Women? I presume you my male readers concur with me that women are often the source of our misery; that guilt, that jealousy, that insecurity, everything, every little thing they do can reduce you into a piece of shit. But that’s life. It, as I said a zillion of times, sucks. It’s meaningless. And has nothing to teach you, but, perhaps, the notion that suffering is its most lyrical poetry. And so now I’m wondering why the blogosphere is depressingly quiet lately. I know many of my fellow bloggers are under 25. They shouldn’t be miserable as I am. Maybe they’re just bored. Maybe we’re just bored. Maybe we’re just numb. Or maybe the younger generation get older and wiser sooner than I do. Or, maybe…ah, f**k it.

You do know cigarettes kill, don’t you? I quit smoking (again), btw.


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  1. wow. ini semua isi kepala lo? nice words 😀

    i started to think that life sucks at 28, too. nothing’s easy

  2. ary….
    apa iniiii…

    rant ga jelas. your stance has always been perfectly clear ga perlu ditulis secara gamblang begini :p hehe..

  3. @alia
    hahahaha jangan-jangan lo terpengaruh gue, al. 😛
    jadi rant ini sebenarnya adalah ini ketidakjelasan yang gamblang atau kegamblangan yang tidak jelas?

  4. Bagaimana ini? Katanya selama beberapa waktu “menghilang” kemarin itu adalah untuk melakukan perenungan dan perenungan, kontemplasi dan kontemplasi. Ini hasilnya? 😕

    C’mon! Be ALIVE while you are alive! 😮

  5. @esensi
    Kata siapa, nak? Never said that.

  6. ayo semangat dong, mas gentole !
    setidaknya, masih punya kesempatan buat melakukan banyak hal.

  7. And so now I’m wondering why the blogosphere is depressingly quiet lately.

    Well some of us move to Plurk, and the rest moves to Facebook. Missing already? Come on activate your account again. :mrgreen:

  8. Well some of us move to Plurk, and the rest moves to Facebook. Missing already? Come on activate your account again. :mrgreen:

    Eh, don’t forget Twitter 😛

    Anyway, I was gonna update my blog tonight…
    even though until now I still don’t have any idea what to write…
    Maybe we’re all having a mass writer’s block? 😀

  9. I don’t want to survive. I want to live — Wall E–


  10. Jadi ingat seseorang yang sempat memprivatisasi blognya… #eh

  11. @ismawati
    Ya, Mbak Isma. Makasih. Btw, usia berapa, Mbak? :mrgreen:
    Duh, gimana ya. Kadung anti-sosial juga.
    Malas masal. 😀
    Siapa? Geddoe?

  12. Den Gentole, i think your blog becoming dark.. :mrgreen: What Wrong?
    Yah, u can be yourself, walk in your way. but, there is miror. Or, u don’t know how to use the miror? :mrgreen: God bless u.. :mrgreen:

  13. *gulung2 mas gentole dan teplokin telor*

    kok malah nanya umur? katanya, ga sopan sama cewe klo nanya umur, tau! 👿

    tapi, klo saya sih ga masalah ditanya umur, haha. saya masih sepantaran mas gentole kok :p

    *liat cermin*
    *nangis dipojokan sambil desperate*

  14. hohohoho..
    jadi pengen pergi ke bali.
    eh. gili deh.

  15. Oh udah ndak di-protek lagi tho?? Hmm.. tapi ngomong-ngomong, mati di umur segitu ada baeknya juga ndak ya?? Dulu sekali, saya pernah punya pikiran, kalau mati muda itu so damn cool, tapi ternyata tidak segitunya juga, saya jadi teringat satu kalimatnya Mas Bro Lambrtz yang ini nih, and thus ultimate question of life can be reduced to…whatever you are, what can you do for the society?

    jadi saya pikir, tidak ada alasan bagi saya untuk berpikir mati muda, selama saya masih belum berbuat apa-apa 😀

  16. Mana ini postingan barunya, hei! :-O
    Tidak disambangi berminggu-minggu, postingan barunya tahu-tahu numpuk, tapi ketika giliran blognya mulai sering disambangi, blognya malah stagnan lagi :-”

  17. @tuan adan
    Mau buat apa emangnya bung adan?
    banyak tuh postingan baru. 😛

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